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Ask the Guide: "Everyone Is Adequate to Their Life"
(In Our Practice, Winter 1999)

By Cheri Huber

Question: Now that I have a sense of how suffering works, especially the self-hating variety, it is very hard for me to be around people who are suffering and not want to jump in to fix them. I know you say everyone is adequate to their life, but how can I know that's true?

Answer: The way we know that anything is true is by having our own experience of it. Someone can say to me that everyone is equal to their own life, but until I have an experience of being equal to my own life, the whole thing is just theory to me. As soon as I have an experience of being adequate to my own life, I will know the "truth" of that saying, and I will then know it is true for everyone. How will I know that? The same way I "know" everything I know: I will look inside to see what is so for me, and I will project that onto everyone else.

This points us toward some significant items to consider. What does it mean to "know"? Who knows? What is known? Does what I know in this moment carry over into the next moment? If I carry what I know in this moment into the next moment, am I knowing or believing?

I would suggest that I never know anything. (I'm not saying you don't, but I know "I" don't–or would that be doesn't?) Whatever experience is in the moment, is. What I think of as "I" is an assumption that because there is an experience there must be an "experiencer" that is separate (and constant!) from the experience. In fact, whatever I experience as "I" is created in the moment along with whatever is being experienced. In the case we're discussing, there is an experience of adequacy. That's all. In this moment there is adequacy to this moment.

If I leave the moment, several things will happen: I won't be experiencing adequacy, I will be "remembering" adequacy, I may "believe" I was experiencing adequacy, and in most cases, I will leave all this behind and revert to whatever belief system I use to project adequacy or inadequacy onto others.

All of this is unnecessary and avoided by staying in the moment! In this moment there is adequacy. If I look out at others, I will see their suffering–if I go to a place of suffering inside myself and project from there–and if I experience, in this moment, adequacy to what I am finding in this moment, "they" and their suffering will be included in the sense of adequacy.

Do I need to tell you this is subtle? Need I tell you there is nothing to learn in this? Have your own experience of adequacy, find adequacy (which is synonymous with "presence"), realize that nothing is excluded from the adequacy of the moment, and the issue dissolves. Try to "understand" and you're sunk–sunk in the projected suffering of an illusion of separation.


Copyright 2003-2011 Cheri Huber